My midlife story

Hi, I’m Sam,

I'm a Women's Health Coach specialising in midlife wellbeing. With around 23 years of experience in health, fitness and wellbeing, I help women in their 40s and 50s build confidence, strength and energy through practical, personalised support with movement, nutrition, stress, sleep and everyday habits. 

My approach brings together health coaching, behaviour change and a realistic understanding of what it takes to feel good in yourself during midlife.

I'm 50, mum of two boys and lover of the gym, animals, sea swimming, people, places and music that gives me energy!

But a few years ago, despite everything I knew about looking after myself, I didn’t feel like myself at all.

I was 47 when things started to feel different. I noticed I was getting easily stressed, waking up at 2/3am not able to get back to sleep and feeling achey and a bit flat, instead of my usual happy self. 

I started pulling away from things I loved, including spending time with friends and driving to new places. I couldn’t understand why I felt this way. I kept wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t just get on with things like I used to?

One of the moments that really brought it home was a weekend away with my oldest school friends. I’d been looking forward to it, but I felt anxious even getting there. Once I arrived, everyone was having a fun time, but I felt as though I was watching from the outside. I couldn't match their energy. I went and sat on my own in the bedroom, feeling embarrassed and wondering why I couldn't just be fine.

One of my friends came in and said, “It’s all right, Sam. You can just be here if you want to be. We love you.”

She was being lovely, but I still felt awful. I didn't want to spoil the evening and in the end I got in my car at midnight and drove home.

Looking back, I can see how much I was struggling before that weekend. At the time, I just thought I should be coping better and pushed through.

That week, I made an appointment with my GP. I explained how I’d been feeling and what had happened at the weekend. I told her I was trying all sorts of things, but nothing seemed to be helping.

She listened and was really supportive. She told me it sounded like classic symptoms of perimenopause. That conversation was a turning point for me.

It wasn't that everything suddenly got better. But for the first time, I had an explanation. I wasn't failing, being difficult or somehow getting life wrong. There was a reason I felt so different, and I wasn't the only woman going through it.

I stopped being hard on myself and started thinking...hmm, Ok so if I listen to this instead of pushing it away... 

What do I need right now?

I began slowing things down and stopped trying to squeeze everything into my day. I swapped running for walking and talked to other women who understood what I was experiencing. There was something so reassuring about realising I wasn't alone. It felt like joining a new club...and I do love a club!

I also prioritised my strength training which had slipped a bit, two or three times a week, with my favourite House playlist!

Gradually, things started to change. I felt calmer and began sleeping better. I felt stronger. My energy started to come back and so did the fun, the silliness and the spontaneity I'd been missing.

I started saying yes to social plans again. I wasn't so worried about needing to go to bed early or whether I'd have enough energy. I began to feel more comfortable being myself.

It took time. I wasn't suddenly back to normal overnight. But over the following six months, I could feel myself coming back.

Then, the following summer, I was dancing at an Underworld gig. I felt so full of energy and had this moment of thinking...

Oh wow, I feel like me. I’m back...It was such a good feeling!

I began to understand how easily I could lose touch with myself when life got busy, when stress built up or when I spent too much time worrying about what everyone else needed.

I also realised that looking after myself wasn't something I could do once and then tick off the list. My strength, energy and wellbeing needed attention. They needed me to make space for them, so I did!

I want you to feel comfortable being yourself. To feel heard, understood and reassured, without judgement or pressure to be anyone other than who you are. 

There'll be warmth, honesty, a bit of humour and plenty of encouragement. We'll work out what matters to you and what you need, then take practical steps towards feeling stronger, more confident and excited about what's next.

First, let's help you feel okay. Then let's look at what's possible.

• Level 4 Diploma in Health Coaching: College of Naturopathic Medicine
• Level 3 Diploma in Advanced Personal Training: Premier Training International
• Level 3 Diploma in Exercise Referral & Long Term Health Conditions: Diverse Trainers
• NCFE Levels 1, 2 & 3 Certificate in Counselling Skills: Brighton Metropolitan College

• Certificate in Life Coaching Skills: Varndean College
• Behaviour Change Coaching: Brighton & Hove City Council
• Menopause & Exercise: Brighton & Hove City Council